Here’s to the worst fucking night of my life.
Note to self: Make sure you’re never the odd man out when theres booze in the equation…
It was a lovely night in May right before graduation. Five good friend, a tent, and a cooler filled with probably $40 in Smirnoff Ice. We must have waited til 11 that night to even start because The Adulterist was so freaking late because his nasty ass girlfriend kept him so late…god forbid that he has friends.
Eleven came around. To the tent. Cooler in hand…okay, over shoulder, it was heavy. We seriously only had to have been drinking for an hour before “it” began. Drunk Bitch was like, I don’t even know, seven drinks in. It was the first fucking hour. We were playing a card game, “Naughty Truth or Dare”. We played for, probably, 5 minutes? Then Drunk Bitch spilled her drink all down her tits; and I may add that she was down to her underwear. So of course the horny Adulterist took total advantage of that. He dives right in. Licking it right off her chest.
At this point The Adulterist and Drunk Bitch are in a half naked colossal mess of drunken pheromones and sweat. The Stallion and The Champ advise them that what they’re doing probably isn’t the best idea, that they’re drinking and that The Adulterist does indeed have a girlfriend…even though she is a total bitch.
I will point out that I am sitting here in a drunken mess just watching. I mean I’m pretty shitfaced. So I just sit back and observe.
The Champ and The Stallion start talking and it looks like they might? Oh. Yep. There they go. The two of them are in a kissy mess. Shirt flying. Mean while over of the far side of the tent…The Adulterist and Drunk Bitch are now in a nakie ball of sin. She goes down on him, going to town on his dick. Then there was no more room for foreplay. On went the condom and the genital fapping began. FAPFAPFAPFAP!! Then off went the condom, as it soared across the tent filled with cum…
At this point I’m trying to sleep…because, well, being the fifth wheel sucks. I mean there was no way I could sleep. The Adulterist porking Drunk bitch and the sound of their wet grody crotches slapping together. I will say though that kid has stamina, they went for hours… Meanwhile 4 feet away from me, The Champ is chopping away at The Stallions dick (gross). From what I hear, it was the best head he’s ever gotten. She knew right when to stop. After his mind blowing blow job when he finished in her mouth and she screams “Fuck yeah! Who just swallowed like I champ? Oh I did!”
The Stallion said he’d stop because he knew I was left out. Which was a nice gesture on its own…but The Champ was such a vacuum and refused to stop. You can’t stop a bitch when she’s on a mission. I understood and continued to die in the corner. True bro for thinking of me though :)
And yes they’re still fucking in the corner.
After the whole sexcapade, we all went to sleep. The Adulterist then wakes me up at like 4AM shaking my shoulder, kneeling next to me…naked. “Mikael where the fuck are my clothes” so he gets his clothes and leaves. Then morning came and we all scattered and left and went home.
As a ending note, my mom want throughout the trash from that night to recycle the glass bottles and wound up picking up the used condom and getting cum all over her hand. LMAO.